And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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