apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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