Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
