I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize