so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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