U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
