yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
