Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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