btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
