so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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