I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
this hospital has no fireball
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
