I just threw up on my dentist
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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