It's like a parade of train wrecks.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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