He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize
