We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize
