you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
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She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
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They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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