OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
