how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
