come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
