Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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