You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Banned from zoo.
Again?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
