Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize