i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
