marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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