TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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