Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
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