woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
