dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
