I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
