hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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