for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
