u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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