I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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