I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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