you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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