none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
