I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
