You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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