my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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