Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
