i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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