I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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