dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
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woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
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ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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