Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
