SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
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He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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