My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
