I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Two words: nipple clamps
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