people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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