I'm lost and stupid without you.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
