Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
