oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
