I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Randomize
