you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
