you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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