i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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