I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
