I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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