My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
