My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
