Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
