new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
