stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
