I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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